"Cops Checked, No Body" is the twenty-third video in the EverymanHYBRID series. Running out of ideas, the crew (and their friend Jessie) takes a trip to the burned ruins of Lambertville High School which they believe to be the Land of Ashen Waste mentioned on the postcard Jeff received. There, Jeff and Vince find a body and The Rake makes it's first appearance.

YouTube DescriptionEdit

"We have been working on a full-out "catch up" video. However, as we began wrapping it up, we realized just how... unnecessary and boring a ten minute video of us sitting at a desk could be for some people.

I'll see what we can do and perhaps we'll save a final version of a straight-forward recap. If we do, we'll post a download link here and you can do with it what you will. (Rapidshare, etc.) Sorry if this information was a let down. Other, more important, things have happened. Take from it what you will. I don't think this was where the postcard was supposed to be sending us. (You're all welcome to troll Twitter's #HYBRID to try to help us out.)

We love you, HYBRIDs. I know we'll find her. Soon.


[The gang is in a car. Vince is driving, Evan is next to him. Jeff is holding the camera, and a girl is next to him, in the backseat.]

Jeff: Hey there Hybrids. You guys might have remembered a girl going by the alias, the online alias, MitzieStar during our Ustreams, this is her: Jessie. She just got back from checking on some colleges in Vermont, this is why she's heading this whole cross-country tour looking at schools. So that's why she really hasn't been with us. You guys might remember me getting a postcard...this is it. I don't know who's giving us these hints, why...but Jessa's still missing, and that's what we're looking for.

Evan: Jessie.

Jessie: What?

Evan: You know about any of this? That's what I thought, she must be freaking out right now.

Jessie: When did-

Jeff: Yeah, you probably knew thes videos when we were ... and all that

Jessie: Yeah, I mean I haven't watched them-

Evan: Well basically what happened was we were doing our thing. And you know we made that fake Slenderman thing-

Jessie: Yeah.

Evan: for shits and giggles?


Evan: Well, we started being harrassed by someone dressed like him. Well, that's what the boys think.

Vince: Well, as far as Evan's house, he was up in Evan's house for a while...that really freaked us out

Evan: And uhh...Yeah, so this thing isn't very-

Jeff: Benevolent?

Jessie: Not very friendly?

Vince: Yeah, it's not exactly Caspar the Friendly Ghost.

Evan: Something's definitely fucking with us, so we started investigating into it, trying to figure it out, trying to find the fucker. Umm, and then some weird shit started happening, people started leaving. Jessa, Jeff's girlfriend. I don't know where she went...she's just gone. She's just fucking gone.

Jessie: Wait, when did this happen?

Jeff: Like a couple weeks ago.

Jessie: I never really talked to her much...

Evan: I mean we talked to the police, they don't believe us, they say we're just making movies. So umm, now we're making a documentary on hunting the Slenderman. Trying to kill the motherfucker.

Jeff: No...we're figuring out what's going on. Why Jessa doesn't want to talk to us where ever she went

Jessie: That's why we're going are we going?

Vince: We're going to Lamberville, basically, because we think it might be the actual place mentioned on this post card. And now there's also some other fucked up shit that's going on, because people are swearing to Allah that there are other videos up on our Youtube that aren't there, and I don't know about you guys, but that's starting to piss me off. So that's just my opportunity to say just stop that.

Evan: It's almost as if somebody's [Vince and Evan in sync] fucking with us? [Whole crew Oohs in astonishment.]

Jeff: And people are talking about things that are pissing us off to our beloved fanbase, really I love you guys, but Jessa's friend that likes to go on little bouts of mystery, and whatnot. And that girl, I'll link you to her little blog so you guys can enjoy her as much as we do.

Jessie: Wait who?

Jeff: Because she's really pissing us off. I don't know her name.

Vince: We saw pictures basically in a shrine to us, in one of our Ustreams, that they told me to go check out, so we went back and showed Jeff later and I told them that I didn't see anything, and I went back to show Jeff later, and someone had taped pictures of us scratched out, burnt all over Jeff's basement. First we thought it was Jeff's brother Alex but we eventually realized that there were "Can you see the words" all over the place, and our man here, who never checks the Internet ever, went online and found her blog post, it says creepy creepy shit about floods and arks and death.

Jeff: And then it's just some girl living in Princeton. Psychotic, off the wall nonsense.

Vince: Just some girl who happened to be living 15 minutes.

Jeff: We think that she's definitely worth checking out. We haven't contacted her yet, but we're definitely trying to get on that.

Evan: Now according to this school of Jeff's that apparently it burned down, it had a little incident, and he went there and he found some weird documents about like, a Doctor Corenthal and it mentions-

Jessie: Wait what?

Evan: Doctor Corenthal.

Vince: James Corenthal

Jeff: James.

Jessie: That's my uncle. That's my mom's last name.

Vince: James Corenthal?

Jessie: That's my uncle's name. My uncle-

Evan: You serious?

Jessie: He was, I mean I didn't really meet him, he's kinda strange. I met him when he was little, and then he moved to fucking Nowhere, Florida, and I...I never heard from him. Last I heard he passed away.

Evan: What was he...a doctor?

Jessi: He was some sort of doctor, I don't know what he did. My mom never talked to him. She was like his half-sister. They weren't really close.

Vince: Did he live in Ohio? Did he work at a children's home?

Jessie: I don't know, I think he might have done something with children, nothing I ever heard of.

[Clip change. They park in front of the burned down building.]

Jeff: Jessie, I mean I know we're here, but you in?

Jessie: Well, I'm here, aren't I? I mean I don't really have a choice at this point.

Jeff: You can always wait in the car, that always ends up well, right?

Jessie: No, fuck no, ha.

[Clip Change. Vince is holding the camera. They're looking around the building.]

Vince: I don't know, I'm not buying into this. Why would we even be here? What's the point in this?

Jeff: This is what the postcard is pointing us to. This is what we're looking for here, this is the only other place we know with fire.

Vince: Besides your school and Lamberville, which we're at, obviously. I can't think of anything else.

Vince: I'm really not buying into this man, it's not really making any sense to me.

[Jeff sees something.]

Vince: What's up? What?

[Camera turns to a female body on the ground.]

Vince: Oh shit! Oh, alright, she's just sleeping man, she's just sleeping, it's fine.

Jeff: Should we call somebody?

Vince: Call who? The cops don't believe us, we're not supposed to be here in the first place, and there's no such thing as an anonymous call anymore.

Jeff: Let's just go then, dude, let's just go.

Vince: Yeah, you go, this is your hunt.

Jeff: No, no, leave.

Vince: No, these are your clues, you have to see what this is.

Jeff: A body dude, this is beyond a game.

Vince: She could be sleeping, man, she could be hurt. You just go, this is all you.

[Jeff approaches the body]

Jeff: Hello? She's dead...she's got cuts on her arm, man, she's got cuts on her arm!

Vince: She could be hurt. It's her duty, we have to do it. Go poke her with a stick, isn't that what you're supposed to do with bodies to check if they're alive?

Vince: Ma'am? You shouldn't be sleeping here, it really isn't conducive. Jeff dont give me this look. Go. She's got something in her hand.

Vince: Ma'am you okay?

Jeff: Lets just go.

Vince: There's something in her hand. Get it.

Vince: She's got cuts on her arm.

Jeff: Sorry.

[Grabs the paper the woman is holding.]

[Camera turns to see a humanoid creature. It is white and walks on all fours, and walks past them, in the woods.]

Vince: Holy shit what is that?

[Clip. Too dark to see anything, but we can hear Evan and Jessie talking.]

Evan: Whoa, watch your step.

Jessie: Thank you- This is crazy. Splitting up like that? Totally always works in horror movies.

Evan: Yeah man, it's Scooby Doo-

Jessie: I'll be Daphne.

'Evan: -we'll be fine, the gay kid in the handkerchief will save us.

Jeff: We gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go.

Evan: What? What's the matter?


  • The letter found in the Dead Girl's hand was finally read to the audience at the beginning of the video "Ashen Waste"
  • Alex has confirmed (in the video "Alex") that the figure seen at the end of this video, dubbed The Rake by the audience, was indeed the same figure that had attacked him.
  • The song the crew listens to while in the car is "Alone Down There" by Modest Mouse.
  • The song that plays at 2:03 onwards is called "The Rake's Song" by The Decemberists.
  • The song that plays at 5:05 is "My Boy Builds Coffins" by Florence + The Machine.
  • The song that plays at 5:14 is "Chloroform Girl" by Polkadot Cadaver
  • When The Rake is shown on camera, faint whispers/speaking usually associated with it can be heard.

External LinksEdit